What Should we Feel in God's Presence?
I have done enough training in my professional career, around vulnerable poeople, caring for, and protecting them, that this thought that we are to be vulnerable in God's presence has always messed with my head. See, to be 'vulnerable' means to be "at risk of harm or exploitation." Does that sound like our condition in the presence of God? If you didn't answer, "NO!" to that question, or you said, "No, but...", then you have a wrong perception of Father God. We have NOTHING to fear of Him. So, what I experience in God's presence should never be vulnerability.
My working explanation at present, from my hours of mulling these thoughts over, is that firstly, 'vulnerability' is not a feeling, as in an emotion. My Counsellor would often challenge me to use the right words to express my feelings over my thoughts. "I felt suspicious about them", for example, and he would say, "Joe, 'suspicion' is not a feeling (emotion)". He would then say, "Did you feel anxiety/fear that caused you to be suspicious?", as that is a more accurate description of how our emotons (feelings) influence our state of being.
For example, one of my former clients living with Down's Syndrome, was full of life. We had a lot of fun together because he lived such a full life. He didn't feel 'vulnerable', but society had deemed men like him, due to something he had no control over, to be classed as a "Vulnerable Adult". Therefore, like suspicion, 'vulnerability' is a state, the by-product of unidentified emotions or wrong thinking, or labelling, but not a feeling (emotion) in istelf.
OK, this led to another thought.
In our home-group, we have had a new-Christian join who has a gift of healing and seeing. She has had freedom to move in these gifts from day-one. This is how it shoulde be. We don't try to disciple her to get her ready for ministry, we just cut her loose on whoever wants prayer. The results have been amazing. Our encouragment has been for her to play with the Holy Spirit, to have fun doing things with Him. It's play-learning, the same way that children learn the rules of life and interaction by playing with others, more than they would in a classroom. Play, play, play with the Holy Spirit and you will learn more from playing with Him, than studying Him in a book. The results have been amazing in this young mother, who gets her kids involved when playing with the Holy Spirit.
In her journey of play-learning, she will describe how she shakes after praying for people. That's a perfect example of what it means to "tremble" in the presence of God (Psalm 2:11). It's connected to Him being among us, but it's not a fearful thing. It's refreshing to watch, because she is learning about God in the way it should be done, by feeling Joy and Reverence (or Awe, which are more accurate descriptive words than the word 'fear' that is normally used), resulting in trembling. This young lady is having a blast praying for people, seeing Jesus heal people through her, and speaking to things in people's lives that she would not know about, without the knowledge the Holy Spirit gives.
Personally, I had not been able to workout for nine months due to a back issue, and then she prayed for me, and I have been working out now, for two months.
Watching this all unfold in her life is also prompting our group to be protective of allowing more of this to happen when we gather, instead of a twelve week discipleship course on "What it means to be a Christian". Seldom do those courses have what we are witnessing in their curriculums. During one exciting night of praying for eachother, one of the women in our group said, "Imagine what it would be like, if across this valley, this were happening in other homes!" YES LORD!! We'll have some of that.
A few weeks ago, at the end of one of our Prayer Room meetings in Merthyr, a lady came up to me and said, "I go to church every week and never feel as free and as light as I do right now!" Let that sink in. I know she is not the only one. We don't need more churches doing the same thing as the last church. We need places where God can do what He wills to do.
OK, my final thought, was again triggered by recounting the great things God is doing through our new friend. Unfortunately, the church at large, tends to adopt employment terms when it comes to our relationship to God. Yes, the Bible uses terms that convey "servanthood", and us being "co-workers with God" etc. Unfortunately, these tend to be overplayed in contrast to the many verses that refer to us as children of God. John 1:12 says,
"To as many as received Him (Jesus), He gave them the right (exousia) to be children of God"
It does not say co-workers, employees, slaves, servants or any other role. The Kingdom of God is not a workplace, with workplace rules and politics. It is a Father and His children. As one preacher so rightly said:
"Heaven's government structure is 'family'"
Now, you may have, or have had a bad family experience. All the more reason to RUN to the presence of God. The more time we spend in His presence, the more it diminishes the effects of other false environments. God's presence IS the safest place to be. The more we spend time there, the more our thinking is changed and our fears subside, and then we take our new way of thinking from His presence into our everyday lives. Yes, the goal is to live consciously aware of His presence at all times, but only Jesus ever really accomplished that successfully. We can grow into that reality, if we keep RUNNING into His presence, as we allow those times to reshape our thinking, so that we feel the trembling of Joy and Awe at being in the presence of a wonderul Father.
Ask God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit - "What lie(s) am I believing about You that affects how I approach You?"
In my experience, He ALWAYS answers, and what He has revealed to me has brought me closer to Him. I still have many wrong thoughts of God that need addressing, but I have less than I did last year. This is why theology without experiences with God will always bring inaccurate, and sub-par, conclusions. You can be book-rich, but experience-poor, and you will NEVER truly learn what He is like from a book. We are meant to live consciously aware of His presence, like Jesus showed us. All study should compliment our living relationship with Him. Study and reading are additions to our walk, not the shapers of our walk! Our true classroom is His presence.
Just like our new Christian friend, Lord, help us recapture, and protect above all else, the treasure of living in your Joy-FULL and Awe-FULL (not awful) presence, that it makes us shake all over. Child-like hearts alive with You, Father God! Let us never become so full of "book" knowledge that we move away from experiencing You.
Mwy Argwlydd...
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